Deep Focus


As I'm always afraid of losing focus and getting behind on my film work I tend to like focus too hard for too long which like beats on your mind and body... I went to the hospital this week for the first time in ten years as I was feeling fail and the bags under my eyes were getting worse instead of better... I did tests and all that but haven't heard back from the Dr. d00d yet even though I got the test results emailed too me... most everything seems pretty normal to my undoctored eyes... but yeah since most all of the people I've come across in my life who wanted to make they own films usually lost focus or got caught in other stuff I'm like paranoid about doing that myself.... so I focus too hard for too long... I overcompensate...lest I become the thing I fear even when by now I know I can focus haha.....when I go to sleep the last thing I do is make sure all the computers are rendering and the first thing I do is check render progress 0_0 I dont go out much and I dont talk to people in the real world much either when working...

Its like in this process I'm a marionette controlled by the film and the computers... thats why I'm trying to do it as fast as possible because I know its not healthy for a HUMAN... Having said that the film is coming out awesome...like way beyond my expectations... seems the only failing factor is me haha... So I'm going to make a conscious effort to NOT focus for at least an hour a day lest I not die animating and shet...

Making my films IS MY LIFE... when I'm not working in some way I feel like I have no purpose in life... I mean I felt like that for a long time... until probably the past few years when there was a glimmer of hope that maybe I'd be able to make a career out of making films... now for what I lack in income I make up with passion... burning my own soul as fuel instead of burning cash for cinematic propulsion... thats pretty dramatic eh? ^ ^

When working this week I've been listening to this great podcast for animators called the Spline cast its made by some Pixar animators and they interview their coworkers... it sounds great to work with such talented teams of motivated creative people so you don't have to kill yourself to get a film made haha... I wonder if Pixar would ever make a film with a goal to make people die inside? haha

Comments

  1. Ya you need to give yourself some of that free time once in a while. Or at least have a time of slower work so that you can afford to just have some fun.
    As a concerned humanz I say..Take a break sometime!

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  2. Don't kill yourself for your art, mDot. It's possible to balance your health and still make great films. If you burn out too quickly, you lose the opportunity to make more films and share them with people like me and hundreds of others who follow your work/ideas on a daily basis.

    While I understand your desire to live 110&, but give 109% and save that 1% to stay healthy and lay in the sun doing nothing for a while. The hour a day idea to keep the stress levels down is a good one. Why not try Yoga or meditation for that hour?

    Anyway, I'm sorry to hear you have been struggling with your health. And I hope you get feeling better soon. We are all wishing you the best, mDot!

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  3. Hi M,

    since you already mentioned it in your post... I wonder for a looong time how you manage to pay your bills. Are you working in some job?

    Would be nice to know... I have no idea how to do films full time without any income to pay the rent n stuff.

    thanks,
    Fredo

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  4. Wow dude, that's dedication. I'll most likely pay double for a DVD just cause of how much effort is being expelled by you.

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  5. The only person criticizing you for taking a break is you
    if you posted im taking a 3 day break or just a day or so to relax unwind and not explode from focus nobody would care
    after all were all huuuma.... well you're not you're a biological machine but even those need breaks every now and then
    i can relate to you not feeling like you have a purpose when you're not animating
    I'm only exploring for my style and way of doing stuff but i feel like i waste time when I'm not animating
    and he kicker's I'm only in high school lol

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  6. u can't die inside and out before you finish your own film! that would be bad as i wanna see yer film when it's done.

    p.s. thanks for introducing me to the spline cast i've listened to some of the old casts and those guys certainly have heart

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  7. Master M.
    Health first, then anything else! I say this cause I ruined my back with too many hours sitting in front of a computer. Start to use glasses last year, probably thanks to the same reason...
    Try as much as you can to work with a pen...I know you miss the middle button but that will save your wrist.
    Get well cheers

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  8. hey mdot! def be sure to take some breaks. it's amazing the things you accomplish and it'll all get done but look out for yourself 1st and foremost. i can't wait for HSM but don't over do it. i am def gonna do a great deal of promotion for you when the release date of HSM nears. catch up on some rest man and try takin' it EZ. you're mah hero. ^_^

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  9. OH EMM GEE
    i was watching the extras from WATS
    and that part i dunno what part it was but when you were showng us that blue m bot modle thing that was on the game box that went halllloo? halo? halllooo?
    and you were like
    "i dunno if you have super tweaked out eyes but there's tears in the model"
    i finally saw were the tears were :D
    i feel proud of myself for noticing XD

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  10. Take it easy Mike - easy fer moi to say as I have done exactly the same as you on every project I ever made.

    Years ago I was falling asleep standing upright on one of my shoots and as a 'solution' I foolishly drank 3/4 of a bottle full of this heavily caffinated stay-awake stuff (like cough syrup). I was buzzing like a turbo nutter-bastard for the rest of the shoot, but I paid for it badly as after shooting finished I was throwing up for 3 days and everytime I peed it was like passing strong coffee - ok that's probably way too much info, but you get my drift...

    Adam

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  11. Hey, I wish I could physically transfer you some energy, not for filmmaking but for going out on a bike ride or something.

    Its good to be in a zone, but it might be good to give yourself some vacation from time to time? Like pro soccer players do between seasons.

    Here´s a massive hug from where I live, wishing you the best and feeding your soul with some gratefulness for your coolness. Stay strong brother.

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