Month END ranT Feb 2010

If ya see my little progress moved up to %40 completion as a month ended... my work is broken into monthly chunks... the last day of the month I backup the render files from that month... then I import and organize them in After Effects and render out proxy quicktime Movs for the offline edit... THEN the first day of the month I look over the storyboards for that months work and rework them if necessary THEN I record the temp voices for the shots in that month and prep any additional 3d objects etc that are required for those shots if I have added anything new in the reworked boards...

And thanks for yalls concern with my health... the Dr. didnt like call me or anything after my tests so I guess I'm ok... I started feeling better and I look forward to getting to %50 after this month!

So since the months over I'll dump months worth of textS.....


I've had a chaNCe to watch some films at the Cinequest film fest here in San Jose... and I must say its the most corporate WHORISH one I've ever been to! I've been to many film fests all over the world now both large and small and by far this one is the worst when it comes to kissing up to corporate sponsors first and having films second.... before each film theres about 15 minutes of badly disguised commercials then a real person stands up there and does another 5 minutes of sponsor thanking... then after all that they throw a film up when your at the point where you want to THROW UP.... it gets worse... their like "forums" or whatever...ya know where people pay to go learn things... well all they do if have sales reps from local media-centric corporations come in and give sales pitches... its awful... a real disgrace to real film... When I was there in 2007 I offerred to do a ton of free workshops on whatever as I live here and like I know what I'm talking about and I'll do it for free... as organizations bigger than theYs pay me to travel to foreigns countries to do just that?! But I guess I can't pay them off so they want no part of me?!  SO if arts/film organizations in your town pretend you don't exist don't feel bad as most all of them have theY heads really far up in like VERY NOT NICE places ^ ^ They don't exist to serve film, filmmakers, or the filmgoing public...they exist to pay themselves and they do it quite well it seems...


The M is for Misanthrope in case ya didn't know... sometimes tis for Mega as in Damage Over Time....

Having a "life".... A few months ago... someone posted a comment about me trading in my personal life for making films this way and I got all defensive and disagreed but they were right... So I r sorry about that ^ ^ To do things this way.... you get to hide in a hole and live your cinematic dream BUT you can't participate in "life" BUT you came to this place because you enjoy your "art" more than you enjoy what people call "life" NOW I've lived life and done all kinds of CRAZY extreme things been around the world a lil.... tried this and tried that...done did this and that like 187 times and after it all making films is still my favorite thing to do... all through life especially when I was around 19... people would try to convince me that "X" thing was the "best thing" in life.... it was the most exciting... you had to do "X" thing to be "alive" blah blah blah... and I always thought that making films/animation/music was the best and when I was younger that made me feel like an alien... because everyone else was putting theY time and energy into all these things I thought were fleeting and boring...  The thing is people think they are "missing life" like a social life of bars/clubs etc.... NOW I've been to enough of the world to know ITS ALL THE FUCKING SAME and it ALWAYS WILL BE...your not missing anything! If you go do that with all your time you'll be missing your chance to do something extraordinary in life!!!!! AND THAT SHIT NEVER CHANGES it will ALWAYS BE THERE..FOREVER! Some bar with this guy and this girl somewhere theY playing this song with this drink and this dance and this blah blah blah....

Since I didn't want to participate in the things I found boring... all my friends went away until I had none.... but my art was still there so I worked on it and it made me happy.... then after many years of solitude I created some works that made me new friends... friends that I really got along with because I met them through my art... if they liked the stuff I made then I've found they usually are pretty awesome people ^ ^ I would include most of you as some of these new friends... So thanks for the support my friends and I'll keep doing my best for you... If you have dreams of making films/animation er whatever I hope I can somehow be helpful to you... as chasing yer dreams is THE REAL "LIFE" me thinks...


"Sex, drugs and rock and roll" WHat a ridiculous idiotic motto to follow... it should be changed to "STDs, Hep C, and Bad taste in music" if you ask me ...because all the people I know in real life who like tried to live that shit are pretty fuckED up in more ways then THREE... and its not just me trying to justify my "no life" haha


Now I'm not going to try to tell people how they should live they life.... but all I've ever done is put my DREAMS first.... before ANYTHING...whether it be life, love or any of the above... I make decisions based on trying to live a life with no regrets... and I must say its tough but its been worth it for me... I make decisions and do things knowing that HISTORY is the ULTIMATE could do something mainstream that will catch peoples attention today but be forgotten over time OR you could create something that goes over the distracted sms'Rs of today yet burns brighter and brighter as time goes on.... you gotta be in it for the long haul... the long tail...

Humans feelings and your arT

Here's my advice when it comes to human relationships... If you have to make a choice between your films/art wha_ever and a matter how much you LOVE them or whatever... Without YOU.... your time, energy, dedication... your ART WILL DIE... Without you teh person MAY CRY but they'll survive ^ ^ Unless you have some weird symbiotic relationship wherein they digest your food for you er some shet then they will die...BUT freakish siamese twin like codependency aside ...   if they really care about you they will respect your choice and be there for you...if they peaS out then they aint worth it anyway SISTER! ^ ^ How many people do you know that traded they dreams in to be with another person? There's enough happy domesticated couples buying small dogs and having cheese tasting parties around but not enough great artists so dump that dead weight and do YOUR THANG! Yeh its tough being alone BUT if you keep your dreams and your art alive you ARE NEVER ALONE its always there for you! "YEH but M dot I can't talk to my art when I'm lonely" Make dolls! ^ ^

The M is for madman?!

People seem to be too caught up into lifestyle here in A-merica...gotta have this car and this hauS and be able to spend dis much money on this and that... little do they know they traded they childhood dreams in for being a consumer whore just like it has been dictated to them from teh corporate scriptS... an army of unhappy, lost, fidgety, vain people with fleeting interests and values led from one pop culture trough to the next... a new flavor of the month every millisecond to appease the hunger for meaning, for feeling for connection... but these sheeple have been led too far astray for too long and the only thing left for them is TEH SLAUGHTER ^ ^ I can type like a pretty good madman eh? I was just being dramatic OR WAS I??! Is this what happens when your a misanthrope for TOO LONG??!! Hmmm I guess you'll just have to follow my career to find out... because I have some big.... strange...plans...

The "END" of the worLD

If you saw teh Wats DVD with Sundance Q and A's I talked about my next movie being about "The end of the world" now thats not HSM... thats the film I'm doing after HSM... I already started writing it... If I was put on earth to do one thing....its to make that film....After I release HSM... I'll tell you what I'm really about and what I've experienced here this time around... because at that point it will be hard to write me off as merely some lunatic... or maybe I just am some lunatic with no method to his madness ^_^

Best to YoUs,

M doTs


  1. hah just as i thought i figured out some of HSM through tarDUSOLE
    looks like i was wrong... hah
    I've been feeling the same thing ALOT
    there more i go forth in my dreams the less friends I've had...
    even some of my closest friends I've had since... well ever
    but I've been choosing my art instead
    it's fun but in a way I'm still losing friends... ow ell I'll get over it

  2. i thought the craziness of my new model was too much for you to not see it XD

  3. You can't let the world define your life. I don't smoke or drink, Unheard of right? Well Smoking gonna kill me quicker n the long run. Drinkings going to take away from my self control, effectively making me weak. Other things like drugs, money obsessions, material obsessions and etc are just weaknesses you can give into and I myself would like to avoid being weak when I can thankyou very much. Everyone thinks they know what's good for you....or maybe it's just that they are making crappy decisions and are trying to justify them by getting you into the same crap they are into.

    On a somewhat unrelated note, I started learning cinema 4d (The 11.5 demo) and I was wondering if you knew any good tutorials or anything else then can help in getting started in modeling. I mean I can model a basic room or a mario pipe or a man made of blocks or something simple like that and I've learned all the quick start tutorials n all that. I understand your busy so ignore this if you don't understand. I'm still gonna look fo tutorials one way or the other anyway.
    Peace out!

  4. @Drainage64 m dot's probably going to tell you he learned all his C4D stuff through it's a really easy program to use... sometimes things like rigging might get you frustrated lol

  5. Now I see why not Cinequest film fest
    Here is our Cinequest^^
    The first forum of alternative low-budget video that summer and I was among participants.
    The shooting day has been was appointed to the date in which I had to leave really and
    I had no other choise to stay for that moment.
    but when I came back I saw who won there, really I was shocked
    and the voting of the viewers have to determine the winner
    votes were given for the really interesting works for Space-known reason, won our local pop-star
    what was he doing there only Universe knew it..
    f8cking local "The pop-star" was represented there with poor animation
    and our local Jury of Film Directing were kissing his ass
    when I saw this, I wanted to puke.
    As a result instead of one Grand Prix they gave two
    People disagreed. Because one of them got the "Pop star" and another got the Producer's paid-up film but the fest was experimental low-budgeting. Then they took the second prize..and gave to some guy to force people just calm down.
    Such a cheap whore, I thought I could see only in I know that the world full of whores

  6. wow...just wanna sa hella thanks. im just kinda reading this today fo first as i checks yo blOg out not too often blablabla....

    but mega hella thanks. you like changed my life again. ^^ or at least lead me back to teh one true way for me that is Art. me hopes..
    butumm yeahh thanks mister StrAAnGeei


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