Secret messages from the past...

As the time will soon come when I'll be able to share things from the new film... what it is... why I made it... I should probably share some background information about how I got here... I made some weird film... I made a weird thing...and I've always made weird things that only a few people saw... then it got into the Sundance film festival and I got a little press...then a lot people saw it online....I got to travel teh world a lil and do a few workshops and speak and the like.... I thought all this would "change my life"... it did "change my life" but not in the way I thought it would... it changed it in the sense that it showed me that "I" don't matter... my films do... all that matters is what is on the screen... so it helped me get over myself and my little problems and worries and dedicate myself wholly to my films...

This change is the main force behind "Heart String Marionette" it has nothing to do with the "plot" in a literal sense... its more like one of the abstractions behind it....

So how did I get here... where did this film come from? Why did I make it now?

Here are some random journal entries from the years since my last film that I haven't posted anywhere...

4-24-07 646am

Before you start on a journey you need to know what you will do once you get "there" because if you don't the journey will never feel "over" Wait...should the journey ever be over? Maybe not because when its over I'm dead right? Did my spirit die? Is it dead? Am I dead? I guess I am dead...so if I'm dead then I have nothing to lose right? Ha so fuck it what do I care what happens I'm already dead!!!

9-9-07 408pm 

What the fuck have I been doing this year? Who am I? It seems that I have lost my identity this year... Have I gone off my path? I definitely feel off right now... How do I right myself? I haven't been so unsure of everything in a while...maybe since before I started the film... Did I forget my cause? What's happened

1-1-08 116am 

So yeh another year... I slept through the human celebrations with b00(my cat)... So meh goals for 08 are to make the most awesome fucking script I've ever made ever for HSM.... then eventually the storyboard and animatic.. I also want to learn Zbrush and get better at modelling characters in C4d... So I'll practice a lot this year...

5-19-08 547am

 Lately I've become friends with a musician/composer named Endika...really cool d00d... I think we're gonna do some awesome work together...

7-7-08 428am

Finished the storyboarding... word... now 33 min into the animatic...checked out the studio space tonight...with a little work it'll be a cool thang...

6-21-09 734am 

Was following everything goin on in Iran this week... I hope the people gain theY freedom...because they are doing they best amongst the odds in an unfair fight.... It really upset me experiencing all that and just being an observer.. I hate seeing them being oppressed and censored .... meanwhile with the media blackout and corruption...most of the rest of the world is oblivious as usual.

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It's so weird.... looking back at the past few years... I guess I did make a few albums and some short films but %90 of my life force was put into "Heart String Marionette" People talking about filmmakers film's being "their babies" but I'm pretty sure its a lot easier to make a baby 0_0 I know a lot of mOphuKaS who have made babies but only a handful who have made films this way...

It's kinda like building an actual baby... cell by cell... by hand... by your original design...by yourself...

Something I learned with this one I didn't know with WATS... As long as you put your ALL into it and do your absolute BEST... just completing it is a SUCCESS and a WIN... everything else is extra credit... so the pressure I put on myself is to FINISH... there is no pressure to "make a million dollars" or "win awards" or any of that... as long as I can keep making films SOME WAY I'll be happy... and that will be "success" to me... fuck what the rest of the world thinks or says ....I'm following the strings of fate ....and as long as I do I'll have this stupid smile on my face ^ ^

THE SHOW MUST GO ON!

SOON THE CURTAIN SHALL RAISE!





Comments

  1. Amen o.o, fucking epic quote at the end or ur post M :), you're right, we gotta change the world with the tools that we have and the passion that lies inside of our beating heart :), but i hope you can finish this work soon so you can see the results of your efforts, Go Go! Gooooooo! =D

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  2. People talking about filmmakers film's being "their babies" but I'm pretty sure its a lot easier to make a baby 0_0

    This is now my favorite quotation.

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  3. omg - I can so resonate with this with post. I'm remodeling my studio and cleaning-out 8 years worth of stuff from my garage ... it's like a forced march down memory lane! LOL Finding old project journals and reading them is a trip.

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  4. The world isn´t all just shitbag flinging because of people like you my man, and the peeps who support you and post on this blog, encouraging you and looking at your work with passion....you notice how everyone who follows you shares a lot in common...well you are inspiring all of us to make better, to fight hard, to be better...keep on keepin on, and THANK YOU!

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